Barriers to Effective Communication
These are some ways in which the way you communicate (your style) may get in the way of getting what you want or need
- Moralizing, sermonizing ("shoulds", "oughts")
- Advising prematurely
- Persuading, giving logical arguments, lecturing, instructing, arguing, intellectualizing
- Prematurely shifting the subject or avoiding topics
- Lack of Authenticity
- Over generalizing
- Responding infrequently
- Using questions inappropriately
- Excessive problem exploration/problem solving
- Interrupting inappropriately or excessively
- Asking excessive questions
- Giving false reassurance
- Analyzing, interpreting, labeling behavior
- Dwelling on negative historical events
- Under responding
- Failing to express opinions
- Verbally dominating the interaction
- Speaking in a categorical, "black- and-white", "I'm-right-you're-wrong" manner
- Agreeing or disagreeing excessively
- Stacking questions
- Using excessive closed-ended questions
- Asking leading questions
- Giving advice frequently
- Negatively evaluating, judging, blaming, name-calling, or criticizing
- Using sarcasm, or employing distractive humor, excessive joking, or teasing
- Using phrases repetitively (e.g. "OK", "you know", "that's neat")
- Responses that impede communication
- Tone of voice
- Talking too fast
- Being Judgmental
- Appearing unsympathetic
Guidelines For Effective Listening and Problem Solving
Good communication requires that the people speaking provide their message in a way that the other
person/people understand, AND it requires that people listen to what the other person is saying.
- Listening is a process of helpful communication. Be prepared to listen to the person's real thoughts and feelings.
- Your attitude should express that you value and accept the person as an individual.
- The person may present a problem that just seems to him/her that it cannot be resolved. Realize how upset he/she may be.
Help the person describe the problem and how and when it started, who is involved, etc.
- People have the right and ability to make and take responsibility for their decisions. He/she may not want assistance at this time and that's okay.
- Be helpful and concerned, consistently treating the person with dignity and respect.
- Let the person know that she/he is important and his/her concerns deserves attention, no matter how small it seems to you, or to him/her.
- Listen carefully for the person's tone of voice and mood. What does the person's tone tell you about his/her thoughts and feelings?
- Respond in a way that lets the person know that you are actively participating in the conversation.
Find out how the person has handled similar problems in the past. This will give you clues on what might or might not work this time.
- In discussing difficult issues remember that no solution is right for everyone. Discussing different approaches helps people to feel less stuck.
- Never raise false hopes or make false promises. Do not say, "Everything will be better soon".
- Be honest with the person. Let the person know if you do not have an answer readily available.
Communication Strategies
How do you let people know that you want to communicate with them...how do you know that someone wants to communicate with you?
Here are some things to think about when you want to make sure someone knows you are listening, or ways to make sure you are getting your message across.
- Active Listening - use small comments like "uh-huh" or "okay" to let the individual know you are listening.
Repeating back what you heard indicates to the person that you are paying attention. With people in crisis,
it is important that you not rephrase statements, but rather repeat the information.
- Eye Contact - look the person in the eye (or close to the eyes) when you talk, to focus his or her attention on the conversation.
- Tone of Voice - people respond better to a calm tone of voice. Your voice tone should be consistent with the
emotional message you are communicating. If an individual begins to scream at you, you simply lower the tone of your voice.
- Facial Expression - like tone of voice, use a facial expression that matches the emotional message you are relating to the person.
- Non-verbal Communication - when working with people, it is important to accurately hear more
than the verbal message. It involves accurately sensing and reflecting all the unspoken cues, messages, and behaviors
the person omits. Non-verbal messages may be transmitted in many ways: body postures, body movement, gestures, grimaces,
vocal pitch, movement of eyes, and movement of arms and legs. We need to be keenly aware of whether the individual's
nonverbal messages are consistent with their verbal messages.
- Prompting - this is a process of signaling to a person to begin a desired behavior or to stop an
inappropriate action. This can be done either verbally or non-verbally.
- Planned Ignoring - this strategy is a slow but very effective way of eliminating harmless,
attention-seeking behavior. As the staff person, you will decide which behavior you believe will disappear on its own,
if ignored. Ignoring a behavior withholds the reinforcement an individual gets from our attention. We must be certain,
however, that the behavior can be safely ignored.
- Compromise and Negotiation - when you want a person to engage in an activity or change an
inappropriate behavior, it is important to have an effective way to discuss this process with the individual.
It is important to express your concerns and ideas and listen to the concerns and ideas of the person.
You can suggest a compromise and negotiate the outcome.
- Directive Statements - as a person's behavior escalates and their ability to make rational decisions
decreases, it is necessary to provide them with direct guidance. Directive statements inform the individual in clear
and specific terms what is expected. These statements may range from requests to listing of rules to demands.
- Structuring the Environment - the structural aspect of working with people refers to the environment
where our interactions occur. The way in which the environment is set up establishes the tone for the interaction and
activities. It is important that we be aware of the tone we set and that we structure the environment to help prevent or de-escalate a crisis.
Effective Communication in Difficult Situations
Sometimes you may be called upon to work with someone who is having a difficult time, or is feeling out of control.
You will need to communicate your concern and your willingness to listen and to help, but you also need to make sure of
your own safety and security. Here are some things to think about.
In All Situations
- Be considerate and respectful even if the other person is not. Keep in mind that they are upset, may have
legitimate cause for anger or frustration, may be unable to express themselves constructively, may have a
psychiatric disorder, and/or some other problem.
- Do not take what is being said personally
- Withhold judgment and avoid inferences about what the person is saying. It is probably not helpful to second-guess the individual.
- Validate what the person is feeling even if you do not agree with the content of what they are saying or you think it is unfair.
Acknowledge that they sound upset and reassure them that you will try to help.
- Keep your tone of voice calm and reassuring. Encourage the individual to continue talking with you,
even if you do not know exactly what to do. It may help to ask specific questions if the person is having
difficulty talking (e.g. if someone seems very depressed)
- Listen carefully for "red flags" - statements about harm to self or others.
When in doubt
Behavior that may be annoying but is probably harmless includes:
- Complaining
- Talking to self
- Lonely
- Begging
- Laughing
- Malodorous
Behavior that may be dangerous includes:
- Talking about suicide
- High emotions
- Preaching
- Psychosis
- Physical illness
- Drug affected, drunkenness
- Continual pacing
- Hallucinating
If a person is not an immediate risk, but you are unable to help them...If you have questions about
whether behavior is dangerous or not...Call the State-wide Crisis Number: 1-888-568-1112
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